Goodbye Eating Disorder,
Good-Bye Eating Disorder,
You have made me miserable far too long and I've had enough. You have been my best friend, someone I've cherished more than anyone else in my life. But in there lies the problem. You've taken me from my family and friends, and countless opportunities, some that I will never get back. I must take accountability for my own actions, because for a period of time it was in my power to choose you over anyone else. You betrayed me. After being the keeper of my deepest secrets for so long you began to control me.
The mutual relationship no longer existed. You trapped me. You stole my happiness, my health, and almost every outside relationship that I have created. I was engulfed in you, you were the absolute most important piece of my life. I was even willing to die for you. That's not a healthy relationship.
I cannot lie and say that I won't miss you some days though, because part of me feels incomplete without you now. But in those moments I'll have to remind myself of the times I lied to people about food (thus isolating myself), the addiction of the purging & desperate need to feel empty to the point of throwing up blood & collapsing to the floor bleeding from my nose. I'll think of the endless hours at the gym, and how even after blacking out, it wasn't good enough to impress you. I'll remind myself that no matter how small I got, you were never happy with me.
I need to move on with my life. I have no other choice but to leave you behind in order to do so. There's no room for you in my future. So here's to Good-bye, & here's to a future with an abundance of hope, happiness, and health. Because without you, I can have these. You won't be hearing from me again, and I expect you not to contact me. This relationship is over. My life is waiting for me and it's time I go & enjoy it.
You once were a survival tool for me and I'm grateful for that. But you no longer serve a beneficial purpose. I no longer live to survive. I live to thrive. Because I am a warrior.
See ya never,
Leave a Reply.